Eurovision Part II-Results

It’s my favorite part! Douze Point! Twelve points! It is time for every country to call in with a scary representative who tries to be funny. NB: The male announcers are always 100 times creepier than the female ones. While watching this, I wonder who decided the two languages were going to be French and English for this competition.  Every country calls in and speaks English, except…you guessed it…France and surprisingly Belgium. Belgium sucks up to France by giving it 12 points. Yeah Belgium, that bad pop-opera really deserved that. Go eat a waffle, you Walloons!

Why do I love the scoring part so much? You can see what countries other countries really hate. You cannot vote for your own country, so you have to pick the neighboring country that is the least repulsive or at least didn’t attack you in the last fifty years. The German commentator/translator on the German channel has to explain why countries vote the way they do. “Ah Israel gave ten points to Russia. That is because there is a big Russian contingent in Israel.” What goes unsaid is why Israel doesn’t vote for Germany.

Also as I said before the people announcing the how the people of their country voted are really awkward. For example, the guy from Cyprus just said to the host in Germany, “Oh my god, you are so beautiful!”

Now as a country’s representative you can go a couple of ways:

1. Cute and bubbly in a pageant gown. (My personal favorite) Sorry you will have to turn the volume up.

2. Try to awkwardly reference the year’s theme and stall for time which makes the host hate you.

After the points are handed out by a country, the camera pans to the “green room” to see the team from the country that received the coveted 12 points. These pod things that they sit in makes me think of the senate in The Phantom Menace.

As more and more of the points are tallied, I begin to feel really sorry for the countries in last place. Poor Spain and Estonia 😦

And Germany is not even in the top five! Way to go Germany! It was a brilliant idea to send last year’s winner, because if I know one thing about the human race it is that they love anti climatic moments.

And the winner is Azerbaijan!!! Do you remember what they sang? I didn’t! But the guy says he is the happiest man in the world right now, which is kinda adorable.  Now they sing Running Scared again. It’s off key!!!

Here they are winning and you can see the senate pods they sit in. Also are they playing the Olympics Fanfare?! Are you allowed to use this for a non-Olympics event?