I know this is a beverage and not a food. You need not point it out. I am writing about it to continue the Christmas theme and because my friend living in Cambodia asked what the hell is it. (Except since she is a Christian missionary, she didn’t swear).
Glühwein is simply mulled wine. You find it at Christmas markets around Germany. You need it to 1.) warm your hands and 2.) convince yourself it is not cold out, which only works if you are drunk. You can also get your Glühwein mit Schuss, a shot of rum or amaretto or something. I find that rather gross, unless it is made a certain way. If you are like me (i.e. a bit of a pyromaniac) you only want to have a shot of alcohol in your wine if it is going to be set on fire. This is called Feuerzangenbowle (literally fire-tongs punch). They take a lump of sugar, soaked it in rum and then set it on fire. Good times, good times!
The Feuerzangenbowle stand at Tollwood. Yay, fire!!!
The little lip holds the sugar cube. Trust me, this is on fire. You just cannot see it 😉
For me the best place to get Glühwein in Munich is the Medieval Christmas Market near Odeonsplatz. There you can also have Weissglühwein, which as the name lets you know, is made with white wine. To me it is about 84.7 times better than the traditional red.
So I lift my Glühwein Medieval Market terracotta chalice to you and say Frohe Weihnachten!
Note: From last Christmas. I lost those gloves, which sucks because they were warm. I also miss my hair
HA! We’re back! (Car Talk reference #1). I thought I would write a new post instead of having you read tons of classic blog posts. And by classic we mean old. (Car Talk reference #2. Can you tell what I listened to all morning?) I am still suffering from Jet Slap (def: a bitch slap administered by time), so I thought I would do something easy. For me, that means making snarky comments about blurry pictures I took around town.
You got orange soda in my coke! You got coke in my orange soda! Together they taste like crap!
Oh Mezzo Mix, with your stupid slogan, “Cola kisses Orange”, what can I say about you? A lot actually. Especially because I missed Food Friday. First of all, Mezzo Mix is the Coca-Cola brand of something known generically as Spezi. Spezi is just orange soda mixed with regular cola. A reliable source reports that “due to its thirst-quenching qualities, it is particularly popular in ski resorts and mountain huts, where it is often served in amounts of half a litre. By contrast, it is hardly ever seen in Vienna.” I think this is because the Viennese are not crazy. The Pepsi brand is called Schwip-Schwap, which is about 95.3 times more fun to say than Mezzo Mix. Try it! Come on, I know you want to.
What you shouldn’t try is Spezi. I think it tastes gross. Some flavors just shouldn’t come together. For example, orange and toothpaste. Imagine this sign with the man who represents cola replaced with a toothbrush covered with toothpaste and the blond woman (i.e. orange soda) still kissing it, and you would feel the same nauseous feeling I do when I look at this ad. (Don Draper, between drinks and sleeping with his mistresses, just let me know that I will never have a career in advertising.)
Refrigerator Heaven?
The chain of electronics stores here in Germany is called Saturn. They sell printers, computers, music, household appliances, etc. Their spokesperson is Alice Cooper, which makes perfect sense to me. However, I don’t think they are really tapping into to his full potential. This is an ad for a washing machine on a bus shelter near where I live. Yes, this washer is pretty cool with its super fast programs, varied washing cycles, and life-time warranty. But I would be more impressed if it showed Alice Cooper (birth name: Vincent Damon Furnier) doing the wash after one of the stage shows. The copy could read, “Look, it gets out fake blood, guillotine grease, and electric chair scorch marks!” Or, “It gets the whiskey out of the lace.” (Take that Don!)
Scarves Optional
This is a Colorforms-like ad on the windows of a salon near me. I am pretty sure the guy in the back is saying, “Do you really want your hair to look like that? It kinda looks like you are one of those poor schmucks the Weather Channel sends out into storms to report that it is indeed windy and miserable.”
Sometimes on the U-Bahn I see a group of teenage German boys each with their hair styled in a similar fashion. Although, I am pretty sure that they text each other in the morning to make sure nobody’s hair is pointing in the same direction.
P.S. Can someone please get me Colorforms for Christmas. Their slogan is “Even more fun today than when we were kids!”, which makes me wonder what these adults are using them for. According to the company, Colorforms are “playful, imaginative, creative, open-ended, approachable, clean, and easy.” And more importantly, “reusable, repositionable, and forgiving.“
I was more than a bit of a slacker this week with the blog and missed my favorite day, Food Friday. Try as we might, we humans can never go back in time. (Unless we inexplicably have a crazy scientist friend and a DeLorean). Therefore, I am combining Thursday and Friday’s posts into one. The subject is the Österia, my favorite restaurant in Munich. I am stealing photos from their website.
[What is Salmagundi? A reliable source says it is 1. a salad plate of chopped meats, anchovies, eggs, and vegetables arranged in rows for contrast and dressed with a salad dressing or 2. a heterogeneous mixture. Obviously, my title refers to definition number 1]
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
1. The name. A mix of osteria (literally translated from Italian it means a place where the owner hosts people) and Österreich (German for Austria). You gotta love puns. Also it feels very much like a neighborhood place. Maybe because it is in my neighborhood.
2. I also love the atmosphere and decor.
Front of the Restaurant
The 'back' of the restaurant
3. The food is amazing. Thursday night I had pasta in an orange infused sauce with crab. For dessert I had chocolate gateau (the top part was like a brownie, the rest smooth creamy chocolate) with some sort of sorbet on the side.
I know this is a blurry picture, but I was taking it in a dark restaurant with my iPhone surreptitiously
As my friend said the next night, “how is any of this Austria?” My answer, “well, Wiener Schnitzel is always on the menu.”
4. The Wine, which is in fact all Austrian. It comes from Oesiwine which is next door and is really all part of the same thing. Now you might say, “Austrian wine??? I have had Grüner Veltliner and was not all that impressed.” And I would answer, “But that is why the wine here is so amazing. It is ridiculously good and they know how to pair things.” [Alternatively, you might say, “This is a boring blog post.” My answer would then be full of obscenities.]
So if you are in Munich and looking for a great place to eat check it out. If you do, you better damn well invite me.
So begins part 1 of my groundbreaking two-part series on Oktoberfest 2010. I really should get whatever award they give to groundbreaking blog posts for this. Now you might not know this, because you can’t read fonts larger than 16, but I don’t like beer. Fortunately, Germany thinks of everything and there is a Weinzelt, or wine tent, at Oktoberfest.
Since it was pouring, I couldn't take a good picture of the outside. Therefore I am stealing the one on their website (www.weinzelt.com).
We did not have a reservation, so we had to wait outside in the rain for twenty minutes. I started to wonder if we were ever going to get inside (I have very little patience). My friend L, however, spoke to the guy manning the door and we were let in. Once inside, I asked L what she said to get us inside. With a completely straight face she answered, “that we were three pretty girls and wanted inside.” Apparently it is that easy. What was not easy was getting through the crowd of people in front of the door. I felt like a cartoon character being put through a wringer. My left arm literally got caught by the crush of people. I guess they were letting me know that they were jealous.
Oh dirndls is there anything you can't do?
And they should have been, because it was really nice inside
Inside what the website calls "the most beautiful Weinzelt of all times"
and not rainy! Unless you count the prosecco being sprayed in the air, which I guess explains this.
Well maybe just the fact that everyone had been drinking heavily and all had umbrellas explains this
So what can I say about Oktoberfest? Well, I am pretty sure that every woman should own a dirndl. It looks good on everyone and gives you a figure even if you don’t have one. Also it is really refreshing to go out at night and be surrounded by fun colors instead of everyone in black and sequins. Lederhosen are not bad either.
Note: You are supposed to wear some sort of necklace, because there is not enough attention drawn to your chest with these kinds of outfits
What should you know before you go to Oktoberfest? Well the lyrics to this song would be a good start:
Ein Prosit, ein Prosit
Der Gemütlichkeit
Ein Prosit, ein Prosit
Der Gemütlichkeit.
It really is the perfect drinking song as there are only four words. What does it mean? A toast, a toast to that warm, welcome, fuzzy, cozy feeling. Look how efficient the German language is. The band will play this song about once every twenty minutes so you will get the hang of it. Speaking of the band…
Here they are in their normal get up
Just having the usual songs that you hear at German events or when you are out at night, such as “Das geht ab” and a bunch of 70s and 80s American music, is not good enough for these guys. In order to “feiern die ganze Nacht,” it is necessary to put costumes over costumes.
Nothing sets off Lederhose like Kiss makeup and jackets
Despite all the classic rock and pop songs, Oktoberfest knows it must move with the times. And nothing says today, like a man in Lady Gaga drag. Unfortunately you can’t see his poker face here.
Watch out for Germans!
Well, that is it for part 1. I am going to take some photos of the fairgrounds tonight to show how truly tacky Oktoberfest is. So stay tuned for part 2. Just in case you can’t wait for more German tackiness, here is my present to you:
But I Don't Like Beer: Life in Munich 