My Favorite Things Thursday: Italia and Germania

Italia and Germania (Photo: http://www.pinakothek.de/neue-pinakothek)

Stuck at home with a sore throat and cough, which I know will get me glares from my fellow library users, I decided to take Maria’s advice and think of my favorite things. Since I study art history, I tend to think of paintings and sculptures and papers with doodles over doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.

Therefore, I am focusing on this early-nineteenth century painting, Italia and Germania, in the Neue Pinakothek here in Munich, rather than the fact that my throat is so sore it feels like I have been chugging battery acid.  In my opinion the Neue is the weakest of the three Pinakotheks. Only the last four or five rooms have anything worth the price of admission. (By price of admission, I mean the Sunday price of a euro. It is certainly not worth the full admission price of 7 euros).

Why is this one of my favorite paintings? Do I respond to the Raphael-like composition and bright colors? No, of course not! I love that Germania (the blond) is comforting Italia (the brunette).  “There, there Italia. You had a good run. Let Germany handle art from now on.  Come to think of it, let us handle everything else.”

Overbeck with family. I feel sorry for this woman

It may not surprise you to learn that this is the work of the German artist Friderich Overbeck, who spent most of his life in Rome.  By all accounts he seems to have been a fun sponge. He primarily wanted to renew religious art. He was part of a group known as the Nazarenes, a gaggle of German painters who reacted against Neo-Classicism. They wanted their art to be more spiritual, they considered Antique art to be pagan crap, and were not too keen on late Renaissance art. Everything up to Raphael, however, was deemed ok. (Big surprise there, since this painting practically reeks of him.)  They were called the Nazarenes by their detractors because of their strict monastic lifestyle and the fact that many went around wearing long, trailing cloaks and had long, flowing hair. Overbeck refused to draw the female nude and wrote a lot of dry, tedious things.

This painting was meant as response to a painting by his friend, fellow painter Franz Pforr. With him and their gang of German painters, Overbeck had moved to Rome in 1810 and soon took up residence in an abandoned monastery. They considered Pforr their leader, because of his spiritual intensity. When Pforr died from TB in 1812, however, they decided living in an abandoned monastery was not such a great idea.

Overbeck lived much longer, painted a lot, and tried to get rid of sensuality in art. See! Total fun sponge!

Wunder Wednesdays: Die Apotheke

I had planned to write about the Alte Pinakothek, or the Müller’sche Volksbad, or Andechs, or really anywhere else today to fit the Wednesday theme of my favorite places in Munich. When I woke up this morning, however,  my body screamed, “Get thee to an apothecary!” (My body tends to get its Shakespeare quotes mixed up).

I looked at the clock. As it was only 6:30, I knew I had to wait two more hours until I could find a pharmacy in order to yell, “What, ho! apothecary!” (I don’t get my Shakespeare quotations as mixed up and I like to say What, ho!)

As soon as 8:30 rolled around, I quickly (as quickly as a sick person can move quickly) went to my local Apotheke. To me Apotheke is about 13.7 times better than the word Pharmacy.

What, ho! apothecary!

Now I have been known to complain about the lack of 24-hour pharmacies or that all real medicine (i.e. not homeopathic stuff), including ibuprofen and cold medicine, must be purchased at the Apotheke from behind the counter. In fact, I was complaining about it this morning.

Still there is something nice about telling someone what is wrong with you when you feel like death warmed over. Also they throw in a free pack of tissues and some zinc drink mix. Come on,who doesn’t like free stuff?! As I am feeling slightly better I thought I should sing the praises of my Apothekerin in blog form.

Consider them sung.

Time for miso soup and then sleep

Der Erlkönig

The leaves starting to change. The air is crisp (when it is not raining). It is fall!!! My favorite time of year.  I am celebrating with a poem by Goethe. It was set to music many times, most notably by Schubert. What is the poem about?  Like all good poems it is about the death of a child. [Does this mean I have been babysitting too much?] In all seriousness, it is spooky and feels right for a blustery fall day.

Now you could look up the original German or the English adaptations.  I am assuming, however, that you are too lazy to do this. Therefore, I will provide my own version of the poem. Maybe some day there will be signs everywhere in Germany that say I slept here on such-and-such a date.

Narrator: It was a dark and stormy night (I like clichés), and here comes a father riding with his child on his lap.  They are trying desperately to get home.

Dad: Hey kiddo, why are you hiding your face?

Son: Dad, don’t you see the Erlkönig, with a crown and tail?

Dad: No, it is just some fog. Anyway what is an Erlkönig?

Son: Well Dad, if you translate it literally it mean the Alder King, but often it is rendered as the Elf King.  It seems as though it is a mistranslation of the Danish name of their the Elf King, elverkonge, which Goethe used for inspiration.

Dad: I see. But isn’t this “breaking the fourth wall” a bit too much. I thought you were supposed to be scared.

Son: Oh, Right.

Erlkönig: [spooky voice] Oh sweet little child, come with me. We can play fun games. There are lots of colorful flowers on the shore. And my mom’s got a bunch of golden robes.

Son: Dad did you hear what the Erlkönig promised me?  What kid would not want golden robes?

Dad: Be calm my son. It was just the leaves rustling in the wind, which we all know sounds like promises of golden robes.

Erlkönig: If you don’t want to come play with me, I’ve got some daughters. They will sing and dance for you.

Son: Dad!! Dad!!! Don’t you see the Erlkönig’s daughters there in that dark place?

Dad: It’s just the willows shimmering in the wind!!! (The exclamation points are because the dad is singing really loudly now).

Erlkönig: I’ve got to get you into my life. So I will grab you.

Son: Dad, this freak grabbed me and severely injured me.

Narrator: The father shudders and continues to ride home stat. He holds his moaning child in his arms and barely makes it home.  But in his arms, the child was dead.

I am not making this up.  The original German: In seinen Armen das Kind war tot.

Now here is the riddle for you?  Was the Erlkönig really there or was the kid just suffering from Föhnkrankheit? It is kinda like “The Turn of the Screw”. Ooohhh, I think I will watch a version of that. There is nothing I like better on a fall day then to watch a governess kill a child because she thinks he is possessed by ghosts.

Manic Munich Monday: The Foehn, Headaches, and Lack of Good Headache Medicine, Oh My!

I don’t think I say this enough, but I love Munich. It is a great place to live. However, (you knew there had to be a ‘however’) for some time now I have had an allergic reaction to this place (self-diagnosed). It manifests itself in severe sinus headaches. The type where the pain gets so bad you think, “If I could only remove my eyeballs, it would alleviate the pressure and I would not want to throw up anymore.” Usually before I attempt this, I remember that I am an art historian and therefore need my eyes.

What is worse is that there is not a single sinus headache medicine that they sell here that works for me. Trust me, I have tried them all. It usually takes me a while to communicate that I have a sinus headache to the pharmacist, as I am not the most efficient mime. This is just adding insult to injury.

Thus, every time someone visits me from the states I ask them to bring me some pseudo-ephedrine. See, friends and family back home, I am not trying to run a meth lab.

Recently, however, I notice these headaches come about when there is a change in temperature. So that makes me wonder if it is the Föhn. Or the winds that occur on the lee side of a mountain range, in this case the Alps. According to a reliable source, “These winds are often associated with illnesses ranging from migraines to psychosis.” There is even a name for this in German, Föhnkrankheit (i.e. Föhn-sickness). I was warned about this when I first came here, and scoffed. I guess I have been comeupped, since now I must deal with this.

In the meantime, I want to test out this theory. So if you know of a good Föhn-tracker online, let me know.

You might wonder why I am writing about this and not the public transit strike.
1. Service is not that disrupted. As I write this though, the tram I am on is stopped.
2. These kinds of strikes are just a way of life in Europe, so I don’t let them get to me. Also it is not as bad as in Italy or Greece.
3. Until the strikes cause me to want to remove my eyeballs, the Föhn sickness will still be worse. It will just get less press.

Oktoberfest 2010: Part Deux

So begins the final installment of my award-winning two-part Oktoberfest series. (Which award? All of them).  My fingers are a little frozen from being outside, so I thought I would let the photos and my snarky captions speak for themselves. [Geheimtipp: The slide show moves a little fast. At least too fast to admire my awesome photos and snarkiness. Click stop and then flip through manually]

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Oktoberfest Part 1 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Wiesn

So begins part 1 of my groundbreaking two-part series on Oktoberfest 2010. I really should get whatever award they give to groundbreaking blog posts for this. Now you might not know this, because you can’t read fonts larger than 16, but I don’t like beer.  Fortunately, Germany thinks of everything and there is a Weinzelt, or wine tent, at Oktoberfest.

Since it was pouring, I couldn't take a good picture of the outside. Therefore I am stealing the one on their website (www.weinzelt.com).

We did not have a reservation, so we had to wait outside in the rain for twenty minutes. I started to wonder if we were ever going to get inside (I have very little patience). My friend L, however, spoke to the guy manning the door and we were let in. Once inside, I asked L what she said to get us inside. With a completely straight face she answered, “that we were three pretty girls and wanted inside.” Apparently it is that easy. What was not easy was getting through the crowd of people in front of the door. I felt like a cartoon character being put through a wringer. My left arm literally got caught by the crush of people. I guess they were letting me know that they were jealous.

Oh dirndls is there anything you can't do?

And they should have been, because it was really nice inside

Inside what the website calls "the most beautiful Weinzelt of all times"

and not rainy!  Unless you count the prosecco being sprayed in the air, which I guess explains this.

Well maybe just the fact that everyone had been drinking heavily and all had umbrellas explains this

So what can I say about Oktoberfest? Well, I am pretty sure that every woman should own a dirndl.  It looks good on everyone and gives you a figure even if you don’t have one. Also it is really refreshing to go out at night and be surrounded by fun colors instead of everyone in black and sequins. Lederhosen are not bad either.

Note: You are supposed to wear some sort of necklace, because there is not enough attention drawn to your chest with these kinds of outfits

What should you know before you go to Oktoberfest? Well the lyrics to this song would be a good start:

Ein Prosit, ein Prosit
Der Gemütlichkeit
Ein Prosit, ein Prosit
Der Gemütlichkeit.

It really is the perfect drinking song as there are only four words.  What does it mean? A toast, a toast to that warm, welcome, fuzzy, cozy feeling. Look how efficient the German language is. The band will play this song about once every twenty minutes so you will get the hang of it. Speaking of the band…

Here they are in their normal get up

Just having the usual songs that you hear at German events or when you are out at night, such as “Das geht ab” and a bunch of 70s and 80s American music, is not good enough for these guys. In order to “feiern die ganze Nacht,” it is necessary to put costumes over costumes.

Nothing sets off Lederhose like Kiss makeup and jackets

Despite all the classic rock and pop songs, Oktoberfest knows it must move with the times. And nothing says today, like a man in Lady Gaga drag. Unfortunately you can’t see his poker face here.

Watch out for Germans!

Well, that is it for part 1. I am going to take some photos of the fairgrounds tonight to show how truly tacky Oktoberfest is. So stay tuned for part 2.  Just in case you can’t wait for more German tackiness, here is my present to you:

going to be a pita

Food Friday: Kaiserschmarrn

Ugh, I have never wanted to write about food less than I do today. Yesterday in a fit of craziness, I decided cake would make all of my writing better. So I walked over to the Alte Pinakothek and order some sort of chocolate thing with white chocolate shavings on top and promptly made myself sick.

Around this point, I decided that I had made a terrible mistake

That night I had a lovely, and huge dinner, at my S’s place and woke up this morning pretty sure I was going to die and wishing I had a tape worm or something.  Fortunately, Liz Lemon was there to comfort me with, “No, no it ok! Don’t be cry.”

Nevertheless, I am a dedicated blogger so I knew I needed to write about some sort of Bavarian food this morning. I first tried to think of something healthy and light.  Then I remembered I am writing about Bavarian food and that does not exist, so I gave up and decided to write about Kaiserschmarrn (it sound’s delicious, right?)

What is Kaiserschmarrn? It is a very eggy pancake often with raisins and nuts inside that is torn up into pieces after it is cooked. Afterwards, like all eggy, pancake things it requests that the chef, “pour some sugar on me!” (That’s right. I compared pancakes to Def Leppard. I am sorry pancakes. I needed to do it to continue my eighties theme.)

Schmarrn of the Kaiser

Often it comes with apple sauce or lingonberry sauce. Perhaps I have never had good Kaiserschmarrn, but I am not a huge fan. Although it is originally an Austrian dish, it is also very popular in Bavaria and Hungary. I would like to say that is because of the influence of the Empress Elisabeth of Austria (born in Munich and was the queen of Hungary).  I think there is a dissertation topic somewhere in here 😉

Why is it called Kaiserschmarrn (lit. Emperor’s mish-mash)? There are at least two stories and they involve Elisabeth’s husband, Franz Joseph I. Seen here:

Just imagine how much powdered sugar got in that mustache

Apocryphal Story 1: (According to a reliable source)

“Obsessed with maintaining a minimal waistline, the Empress Elisabeth directed the royal chef to prepare only light desserts for her, much to the consternation and annoyance of her husband. Upon being presented with the chef’s confection, she found it too rich and refused to eat it. The exasperated Francis Joseph quipped, “Now let me see what “Schmarrn” our chef has cooked up”. It apparently met his approval as he finished his and even his wife’s serving. Thereafter, the dessert was called Kaiserschmarrn across the Empire.”

Apocryphal Story 2: (Less reliable source)

“Torn omelets (“Schmarrn”) already had a longstanding tradition when Austria’s last “real” emperor, Franz Joseph I demanded one such thing for dessert. His cook quickly created this simple Schmarrn from few ingredients. Inspired by the milk, he named it “Käser Schmarrn” (Cheesemaker’s Schmarrn), which the old emperor misunderstood as “Kaiserschmarrn” (Emperor’s Schmarrn).”

Either way it is something to try out when you are in Bavaria/Austria, but just make sure you don’t need it stat. Any time it is on the menu it has the following small print: Takes 20 minutes to prepare.

Although after yesterday I am pretty sure I will never need another dessert again stat.

Don’t Sleep in the U Bahn, Darling

Since I have lived in Munich for almost a year, I decided this morning that I need some new goal for the rest of my time here. Something different. Something pointless. Therefore I have decided that I want to stop or transfer at every single subway station in Munich.  How many stations are there? According to a reliable source, 98.

Discount all the S-Bahn stops. I am not crazy enough to visit all of those

Based on my quick calculations this morning I believe I have gotten off or transferred at 43 of these stops. I am not counting the ones I just go by on my way somewhere else.

Why would I want to do this?  First, many of the stations are individually designed and are actually pretty cool.For example,

Münchner Freiheit

Marienplatz: This one is great because there are tons of full length mirrors, so you can check how you look before you get out of the station downtown

One of my favorites is St. Quirin Platz. (photo: Wackerart.de)

Königsplatz is decorated with images from the museums in the area and has plaster casts of the sculptures

Built into the subway station is the Kunstbau art museum

Where there are fun shows, such as this one in which I got to take part

Reason number 2 for this goal. Is that the Munich subway system is so clean and so different from New York.  For example, in Munich I occasionally see a cute little mouse rather than the big subway rats in NYC. Why are the subway stations so clean? They clean them!  They walk down on the tracks and pick up trash. They mop and buff the floors. They empty the trash cans. Amazing, no?  Sometimes though it is almost too clean, and makes me miss NY.

Interestingly, when I think of NYC, I think of NYC in the 80’s and early 90’s, as it appeared in such classic films as Crocodile Dundee, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Ghostbusters I and II. You know what is was like: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…The dead rising from the grave!…Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

(Yes I know there are no eighties song references, so just sing the Ghostbusters’ theme song in your head)

Wunder Wednesdays: Kaut Bullinger Einzelhandel (aka Office Supply Land of Happiness)

Don’t you love Munich in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I had lots of money and time to stand at the Post Office.

Some people love hardware stores, others lingerie shops, and I know a few who can’t live without yarn stores. For me, however, it is office supply stores that are truly magical.  I am lucky because Germany has fabulous santionary stores and wonderful school supplies. I seriously considered swiping some of my babysittee’s color pencils.  And while I am not picky, any office supply store will do (even sections like those in the Mueller pharmacy chain ), Kaut Bullinger has five floors of stuff, including art supplies and fountain pens for thousands of euros. And really who doesn’t need a ridiculously overpriced pen?

Perhaps you might need such things if you are a teacher at a private school for boys, and in love with one of your students.  After all, you might be able to use them to gouge out the glowing eyeballs of the possessed choir…

And you thought I couldn’t work in more eighties music. Bwahahaha.

I am now going to watch the fabulous literal music video of this, even though the girl can’t sing:

Things I have Learned the Hard Way

I have been living in Munich for almost a year. You would think that my German would be great and that I could successfully navigate daily life. You would be wrong. Just when I think I am getting the hang of things, Munich kindly reminds me that I am a moron.  For instance this morning, when I completely misunderstood what the postman was saying.

To try to cheer myself up, I thought I would focus on the things I have learned.

1. At the Tengelmann, the grocery store, when they ask “Sammeln Sie Herzen?” (Do you collect hearts?) they are not asking if you are some sort of heartbreaker (or a dreammaker [thank you Ms Benatar]).  Instead for every so many euros you spend you get heart stickers that you can collect to get whatever the giveaway is for that season.

2. What type of beer to order when I am forced to have beer: hefeweizen. According to a reliable source, “it is particularly noted for its low hop bitterness and relatively high carbonation, considered important to balance the beer’s relatively malty sweetness.”

3. The differences between rings and zones when it comes to buying monthly public transport tickets. Yeah, I wasted a chunk of money at first.

4. How to ask if I can pay with a credit card. (See yesterday’s post)

5. How to never, ever, ever make eye contact with people’s dogs, even if they are really cute. Answer: Try to imagine that they will rip your throat out otherwise.

6. How to work the DHL Packstations. Answer: Follow the instructions, moron.

7. How to avoid tram tracks when biking.Answer: watch where you are going.

8. How to describe aliments to pharmacists. Answer: Lots of mime.

9. And finally, where to go to when you are homesick. Answer: Nymphenburger Straße 31, where you can watch movies in English.

And you thought there would be ten. Silly you! I haven’t learned that much.