I have been spending a ridiculously long time on a lay-over at a southern airport. Culture shock! I thought going back to the East Coast was crazy, coming down here is throwing my book bag and me for a loop.
Here are some of the signs that I am no longer in Munich:
1. I was carded when I ordered a beer.
2. The best choice out of the beers on tap was Blue Moon.
3. Everyone is so chatty and friendly. What do they want?! I don’t trust them.
4. I had to tip the waiter 20 percent instead of rounding up to the nearest euro. YUCK!
5. I was called ma’am and people have felt the need to touch me. Christ said it best, “Noli me tangere! I have not made it back home to my Dad!”
6. I don’ t have to do any math to figure out how much items are really costing.
7. I don’t have to plan out how to say something before I say it.
8. I am crazy dressed up. No wonder I always looked like a bum. Everyone is so casual in the south.
9. Last but not least, I am surrounded by twangy loud voices!
As it is my last day in Munich before I fly home for Christmas, I naturally had to go to the Christmas markets one last time. I needed one more Christmas present (and all the stores are closed on Sundays) and, more importantly, I needed a lot of change for the washing machines in my building. (I have grown out of packing only dirty clothes when I go home to visit the family). This meant I got to eat tons of food: wurst, star shaped donuts filled with vanilla cream, and coffee.
Anyway, while wandering around I walked by the Altes Rathaus, where they have a little exhibit of Krippen (nativity sets). As a kid/teenager/adult I loved setting up our family’s crèche, so obviously I had to go inside. Prepare to be amazed 😉 (Note: Despite the snarky comments, I loved all of these.)
Someone has been looking at some Renaissance paintings. Little known fact: Bethlehem was famous for its high quality classical architecture.
Joseph was an amazing carpenter despite his severely injured hand. Also the Baby Jesus loved pretzels
The happiest Baby Jesus I have ever seen. From my experience as a babysitter I am pretty sure that smile means just one thing: Mary has some fun clean up in store
Love, love, love this Bavarian Christmas scene
I call this one the "Sheep Bearer". I know I made fun of Aschenbroedel's sheep shirt the other day, but at least the head wasn't still attached.
Apparently this is the official Munich nativity scene.
Shepherd: Thank goodness, I had this full-size harp with me when I was out tending my sheep
Matthew 2:11b And then the Magi decided to have a picnic
Like any good International Gothic artist, my favorite figures of a nativity scene are the magi. Why? Shiny stuff and cool animals, not like the boring ox and donkey. patouey!
I know this is a beverage and not a food. You need not point it out. I am writing about it to continue the Christmas theme and because my friend living in Cambodia asked what the hell is it. (Except since she is a Christian missionary, she didn’t swear).
Glühwein is simply mulled wine. You find it at Christmas markets around Germany. You need it to 1.) warm your hands and 2.) convince yourself it is not cold out, which only works if you are drunk. You can also get your Glühwein mit Schuss, a shot of rum or amaretto or something. I find that rather gross, unless it is made a certain way. If you are like me (i.e. a bit of a pyromaniac) you only want to have a shot of alcohol in your wine if it is going to be set on fire. This is called Feuerzangenbowle (literally fire-tongs punch). They take a lump of sugar, soaked it in rum and then set it on fire. Good times, good times!
The Feuerzangenbowle stand at Tollwood. Yay, fire!!!
The little lip holds the sugar cube. Trust me, this is on fire. You just cannot see it 😉
For me the best place to get Glühwein in Munich is the Medieval Christmas Market near Odeonsplatz. There you can also have Weissglühwein, which as the name lets you know, is made with white wine. To me it is about 84.7 times better than the traditional red.
So I lift my Glühwein Medieval Market terracotta chalice to you and say Frohe Weihnachten!
Note: From last Christmas. I lost those gloves, which sucks because they were warm. I also miss my hair
I had intended to write about the Christmas markets today, but when I went last night all the snow had melted and it was about 50 degrees. It almost killed my Christmas spirit and was extremely unphotogenic. So I had to rack my brain to come up with something else totally wunderschön and somewhat Christmas-y.
To me nothing says Christmas like shiny s**t (the subtitle of my dissertation) and there is only one place in the center of Munich that can offer enough sparkle to make me happy. And no, it is not Cartier’s or Tiffany’ s, although it is nearby all the shi-shi jewelry stores.
It is the Treasury of the Residenz, which was the palace of the Bavarian rulers since let’s just say the dawn of time (a.k.a the 16th century). There was an earlier 14th century castle on the site, but I am not counting that. The Residenz was built up over the centuries, until it was a massive thing. What I find most amazing is that it was almost completely destroyed during WWII, but through a ton of work has been greatly rebuilt.
Ok, I am not really able to express how amazing the rebuilding was, so here are some before and after pictures.
Before:
The Destroyed Hall of Antiquities
After: Move that Bus!!!!!
Those are people back there so you get a sense of scale
Anyway on to the Shiny Stuff.
As a quick aside I like saying shiny, because it makes me feel like Kaylee on Firefly.
Which is cool, because it means I get to hang out with Captain Tight Pants
The treasury comprises ten rooms with amazing sacred and secular pieces that date back more than a thousand years. Including some things that are very important for my dissertation and some stuff that is just plain awesome. Wait! I mean SHINY!
At a party this weekend I was introduced to the Czech/German (but mostly Czech) film from 1973 called Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel in German and Tři oříšky pro Popelku in Czech—and you thought German was a tough language. For the English title they try to avoid talking about nuts and call it Three Wishes for Cinderella. Like It’s a Wonderful Life, it is shown in Germany every year at Christmas time, so everyone knows the movie. It is seventies-tastic and rather kitsch, but…
First wish: No more sheep shirts
I kinda love it. Although I am ashamed to admit it, I love movies based on fairy tales and Cinderella is one of my favorites. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say that I am somewhat of a Cinderella movie connoisseur. I secretly (although not so secretly anymore) watch the following:
1. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical of Cinderella (the one with Julia Andrews not Leslie Ann Warren [yuck])
2. Disney’s animated version. Although it only lasts about 25 minutes because I skip all the annoying mice bits.
3. The 1976 musical “The Slipper and the Rose”, where Richard Chamberlain sings even though you wish he wouldn’t.
4. Jim Henson’s “Hey Cinderella” (probably my favorite)
5. Ever After (which is possibly the worst version) where Leonardo da Vinci is inexplicably Drew Barrymore’s BFF.
6. And I am sure I am forgetting some…
Anyway I think the Czech version just beat them all. Why? Funny you should ask, because I have a list.
1. Cinderella is not such a goody two-shoes. She talks back to the step-mother and purposefully covers her and the step-sister with ashes. She also holds her own with the prince.
2. It is set in winter, my favorite season.
3. She actually interacts with the prince more than once and leaves the ball because he can’t figure out who she is even after she gives him a bunch of hints. [Note: The Prince is even more incredibly stupid than usual.]
4. The animals (and there are a lot of them) fortunately do not talk. Yay, no squeaky voices!
5. The step-mother’s hat:
Really, I don't know what could compete with this.
So now the plot, since it is a little different:
Part 1. Cinderella’s household is preparing for a visit from the royal family. Step-mother gets ticked off at Cinderella and forces her to separate grains as a punishment. Fortunately Cinderella is like this (I am crossing my fingers) with animals, so some doves/pigeons (it is the same word in German for both birds) help sort them out for her while C sneaks out on her horse (the last thing she has left from her deceased dad). Strangely enough the Prince and his friends have wandered off into the woods to goof off and kill some animals. C keeps the prince from shooting a deer by chucking a snowball at him. Prince and crew run after her, to discover it is just some girl. She runs from them, steals the prince’s horse (which only he can ride) so she can get back to her horse.
Part 2. Another servant asks C what she wants from town when he goes to pick up cloth for step-mom and sis. She says whatever falls in front of your nose. Thank God, the prince [after escaping his parents who want him to marry and taking off a really terrifying gold hat] shoots a nest out of a tree which lands in the lap of the servant who is driving a sleigh below it. Ta-daa three hazelnuts were inside the nest and the servant takes it back for C. Later, Cinderella, who is tired of her step-mom, wishes she could be like her friend the owl and leave the house/yard. Ta-daahh one hazelnut opens up to reveal the ugliest hunting outfit you have ever seen.
Magically her hair gets shorter too!
She goes off, meets the prince and his entourage again and wins a shooting contest. Her reward? A ring, obviously. [eyeroll].
Part 3. Time for the ball! Ta-daaa second hazelnut produces a ball gown. Meanwhile, at the ball the prince is bored with a bunch of ugly girls and is exhausted from dancing with “Little Rosie” (which apparently is everyone’s favorite part)
Because fat people are funny
C shows up. Prince is enamored and wants to know her name. She pretty much thinks, “You moron! You have met me twice already.” She gives him a hint in the form of a riddle. He continues to be stupid, so she leaves and loses her shoe as she runs to get her horse and high-tail it outta there.
Part 4. Prince rides off after her. He gets to her house, but can’t find her among the servants. Step mom and sis arrive home and step-mom figures out it was C that was at the ball. She ties up C and steals her dress. She then gives the dress and cape (how fortunate) to her daughter to wear in order to fool the prince. The prince, however, wants to try the shoe on the step-sister. That would never work with “ol’ beefy feet” sis, so the mom takes off with her in a sleigh and the prince rides after them.
Uh oh! What will happen next? What could be in the last hazelnut? You will never guess.
If you want to watch the end of the dubbed German version is it on youtube:
There is also a fabulously horrible version that the BBC produced, where they just took the Czech film and had a narrator tell you what they were saying. He doesn’t even bother doing different voices! [Miffed sound!]
Or if you want to learn about how they made it and other silly facts, check out this fanpage.
Now if only I could have a hazelnut that contained a finished dissertation…
I am not a geologist. (This may come as a surprise as a regularly discuss rock formations and volcanoes.) Nevertheless, I took two geology courses in college and my mother majored in the subject, so I feel that I am entitled to discuss Munich’s gravel.
You will find this light-colored gravel covering paths in the Englischer Garten and all around Königsplatz, where I unfortunately work. Drawing on my vast knowledge of geology I am going to say that this gravel comes from the Isar’s banks and is therefore eroded junk from the Karwendel range of the Alps in Tyrol, which is the source of this river. (I am sure glaciers helped bring some of the sediment as well, because all geology seems revolve around glacial deposits or post-glacial rebound). According to a reliable source, the Karwendel is the largest range of the Northern Limestone Alps or what the Germans call the Nördliche Kalkalpen.
And here lies the reason for my hatred of this limestone gravel. When it rains or after snows start to melt, you are left with a sludgy mess to walk through on your way to work. The calcite (ohhh fancy term) in the limestone means that your shoes and clothes will be covered with white splatters which resembles bird excrement.
Seriously, just look at this:
Ewwww
**Please note all of my geological conclusions are completely made up. Do not use this for a research paper, you lazy undergrads!
I am feeling in the Christmas spirit and don’t quite want to start writing this Sunday on ye olde dissertationne. So here is a Munich Christmas Card slide show for you.
Sorry it couldn’t be helped. Continuing the Christmas theme, on today’s menu is Stollen. (Although not really, since I ate the last slice I had last night). Stollen is a bread-like cake with dried fruit, nuts, or marzipan that is topped with powdered sugar. It is traditionally sold around Christmas time. Supposedly the loaf shape was meant to look like the swaddled baby Jesus.
Ahhhhhh!!!! You hacked into the Baby Jesus!!!!!! He is not the bread yet; wait until he is in his 30s!!!
I sorta wish I had not read the part about looking like the baby Jesus, because now every time I see a nativity I will get hungry for some German fruit cake. German, mind you! Not that horrible stuff we have in America with the candied fruit that is soaked in booze.
The most famous Stollen comes from Dresden and there is even a Stollenfest there. The festival began in 1730 when Augustus II the Elector of Saxony order the creation of a Stollen big enough to feed all his subjects.
The red smoke must be coming from the kitchens as they try to make the huge Christmas cake. Also his sword is sheathed because there is no way that could cut through the Stollen
The bakers created a special oven and a humongous knife was fashioned. Unfortunately, the crust was really hard and the insides were rather uncooked. Nevertheless it was for the subjects, so who cares! The tradition of giant Stollen is still alive today. The biggest was made in Dresden in 2000 and weighed 4,200 kilos.
Since this is Germany, in recent years Dresden has elected a Stollenmädchen, whose “primary role is to fulfil prestigious tasks in connection with the preparation of the Dresden Stollen Festival, the representation of Dresden`s baker and pastry-chef trade and the marketing of the stollen. In this function, she travels across Germany, visits closely related towns, Christmas fairs and other events, and appears on TV and radio shows promoting the German “Christmas capital” Dresden.”
You can visit their website and see pictures of the “Stollen Girl.” The festival takes place tomorrow so you better start making your travel plans.
If you can’t manage that, you should at least know something of the history of the Stollen. Like all good stories, it includes a pope:
In the fifteenth century during Advent bakers were only allowed to use oil and not butter. In Saxony (northeast of Bavaria) oil was hard to come by so they had to use water or oil made from turnips (yuck). This meant that the Christmas cakes were hard and tasteless. Electoral Prince Ernst and his brother, Duke Albrecht, decided to change all of this and wrote the pope asking him to allow bakers to use butter during the fasting time of Advent. The pope gave in to their request and sent a letter, known as “butter-letter”, to Dresden. In that letter he had declared that richer ingredients were allowed. In return, the Dresden Stollen bakers had to pay a fine. The money was used, for example, for the construction of the Freiberg Cathedral.
So there you have it. If you don’t like something about the Catholic church, just get some prince to write a letter. While you are waiting–the pope did not give in right away–how about a slice of Stollen?
It’s the most wonderful time of the year…in Munich that is. Although Munich is better known as the home of Oktoberfest, I think of it more as Christmas Town. Here is the documentary I shot last year to record my first experience of Munich in December.
As you can see, I have a little more color in my cheeks (a very little) and I have gained a considerable amount of weight since then. Speaking of gaining weight, Advent Calendars.
Now if you grew up in the States you were lucky if you got an advent calendar with chocolate imported from Germany. The problem with those that made it to the US was that the chocolate was pretty crappy. Usually it was just some tasteless chocolate poured into a plastic sheet of twenty-four molds in the shapes of different things which was inserted into the cardboard container with the little doors. Nevertheless, as a child I thought these were pretty amazing.
[Fisher residence, 1990] Sue: Look, I got a piece of chocolate shaped like a bell and I can eat it before breakfast!!!
These childhood experiences in no way prepared me for REAL German advent calendars. I was first astonished by the sheer variety.
Ahhh, which one???
This photo is rather blurry because I was being jostled by a woman trying to grab the last type of one of these before this other person did. I believe there is a saying in Germany used to express that someone feels pure, innocent joy: Wie ein Erwachsene im Adventskalendarsladen. Ok, so maybe not, but there should be because these are pretty amazing. Instead of plastic chocolate you get entire truffles. Really, who does not want to wake up in the morning and get a truffle just for waking up?
So here is the one I selected on the grounds of price, type of chocolates, and being able to carry it home on a crowded subway. Look how artfully I arranged the photo.
Note the pointy ends with which to jab people on the subway that were in my way
The first day I got chocolate with nougat and amarena (with cherry not just flavor) filling.
Tasted better than it looks
Now you might say, aren’t you leaving on the 13th to go home? What are you going to do, take the calendar on the plane?
No, of course not! I have a cunning plan. In fact, it is as cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University. I am going to eat two a day as my countdown to going home.
But I Don't Like Beer: Life in Munich 