My Favorite Things Thursday: “Hieronymus Jobs during his Exams”

Yes, I am aware that it is Friday.  Yesterday morning I was stuck waiting in line and the Kreisverwaltungsreferat (say that three times fast) to be told that I didn’t need to get my new residence pass after all. Three hours well spent.  Still, I didn’t want to miss out talking about one of my favorite paintings in Munich, which happens to be in one of my least favorite museums, the Neue Pinakothek.

So here it is in all its glory:

Hieronymus Jobs im Examen

Painted by Johann Peter Hasenclever (I have decided that Hasenclever is going to be my pen name) in the middle of the nineteenth century, it illustrates a moment from Carl Arnold Kortum’s satirical epic poem, Life, Opinions, and Deeds of Hieronymus Jobs the Candidate. Hasenclever painted another version of this scene which is in the Crocker Art Museum. If you are like me, you have no idea where the Crocker Art Museum is. Never fear. I looked it up for you. It is in Sacramento, CA. I guess this goes to show Sacramento is not all bad.

Since I do not want to really research this painting, I will rely on the Crocker’s curators.  “In the episode depicted here, the hard-drinking Jobs is tested on the subject of bishops. Mistaking the examiners’ intent, he describes the drink of that name rather than the ecclesiastical authority, much to their consternation.” They go on to write, “though the poem is not familiar to modern audiences, Hasenclever captures the varying reactions of the examiners, making his painting a study of universal human emotions.”

I would agree that this painting has a universal appeal, but I would go further and argue that this should be on every graduate student’s wall/carrel while they are studying for their qualifying exams. Why? As my friend and admin assistant at my university said, it is much better to imagine that your professors are wearing powdered wigs than to imagine them naked.

I think ol’ Hasenclever was particularly “smart as a bunny” for capturing the range of expressions one sees during the usual qualifying examination.

Let’s break this down:

1. Hieronymus Jobs (at the far right): Notice that he is wearing his best clothes. We all do this hoping that they will be distracted from our pathetic answers. Also note the open-mouthed, blank stare. I am pretty sure this was my expression during 89.4 percent of my exam. Finally, his right hand starts gesturing as if this will help the answers come more quickly.

2. We next have the rotund gentlemen in the seat closest to poor Jobs. He has obviously had a couple of drinks himself this morning and is mildly enjoying this.

3. Man staring out towards the viewer. That is not a look of surprise caused by ol’ Jerry’s answers. No, after years of faculty meetings and student presentations his face has stuck that way. (Don’t feel bad. His mother warned him)

4. Man with hand over his face on the other side of the table: He is not being thoughtful. He hopes to appear that way, but what he is really doing is suppressing a belch.

5. Two gentlemen in the background conversing. They are trying to decide where to go to lunch when this “damn exam is over.”

6. Worried looking man. He knew he had something to do this morning, but has forgot what it was. This makes him anxious. What he doesn’t realize is that what he had to do this morning was attend Jerry Jobs’ exam.

7. The man standing to their right. He has been told his double chin is less noticeable if he stands thusly and therefore is concentrating on his posture and not the exam.

8. The other man on the viewer’s side of the table. He is trying to come up with some brilliant further question or remark about Jobs’ answer to amaze his fellow faculty.

9. Guy with the dark wig behind him. He is looking forward to chiming in with some nasty (also brilliant) add-on to his neighbors snarky comment.

10. Man in the back with his chin in his hand. He is waiting for those other two to say something so he can take Jobs’ side. Not because he cares about this student who is obviously going to fail, but because he can’t stand those other two bozos.

11. Man standing in the very back. He has learned to sleep with his eyes open. (A skill we should all learn! I am off to try that now.)